New Year’s Eve is right around the corner. It’s time to start thinking about how you’re going to improve for the next year. Today Christina provides us with a list of resolutions we don’t want you to make. Cheers and happy 2013!
New Year’s Resolutions We Hope You Don’t Make
Each December, my beloved dinner club and I sit around a big table littered with wine bottles and fruit pies and write on napkins our ideas and goals for the new year. They range from “I will stop dwelling on what other people think of me” (insightful, deep friend) to “I need to do abs four days a week” (shallow me).
Here at Kbuuk, the main New Year’s resolution flittering around the break room is to publish more books. That’s where you come in. Once the countdown begins tonight, kiss your lover, down the champagne, and pull out your laptop. No, it certainly won’t make you the life of the party, but it will make you a writer.
While you work on that, and since we’ve dodged a bullet on the world ending (whew!), allow me to give you some New Year’s resolutions that you don’t have to worry about.
New Year’s Resolutions I Hope You Won’t Make in 2013:
- Write less
- Consume more salt
- Start implementing the word “awkward” wherever possible in writing, especially in locations in which it is incorrectly used to replace “distasteful.”
- Insert useless exclamation points into writing
- Get more inspiration from Lifetime movies
- Punctuation schmunctuation!
- All book endings will henceforth end with the main character waking up and realizing it was all a dream.
- More characters who forget it’s their birthday (who does that? I mean really)
Please share any New Year’s resolutions you won’t be making with us below. Actually, don’t. You’re too busy writing already! Now you go wow your friends at your New Year’s party, and we’ll keep trucking along here at Kbuuk, making you look good. In 10, 9, 8…